Have you ever tried to convince someone that your new idea is great, only to find their resistance increasing, the more enthusiastic you get?

Have you ever experienced a manager standing up in front of their team and telling them about the new initiative they were going to have to implement, whether they liked it or not?

Ever noticed how your friends and family are good at winning you round, rather than steam-rolling their ideas over you?

Would it be useful to know a way of leading someone to where you want them to be, with less resistance?

Being able to pace and lead a person is invaluable in the work-place.

It's all about being in rapport with someone.

We "pace" someone by pacing their experience, by creating the bridge between our world and theirs. By entering into their model of the world and walking a while in pace with them, we can gradually lead them to where they want to go.

This is the test for rapport.

If you match or mirror someone's physiology, you are pacing them. If you then move, if you're in rapport, they will usually follow your move. Watch friends in a restaurant - one picks up a glass, the other picks up a glass. One uncrosses their legs, the other uncrosses their legs.

So, down to the nitty gritty, how do you make it work?

Take a genuine interest in others
Be curious about who they are and how they think
Be willing to see the world from their point of view - without judging

Only then should you try to present new ideas to them

One way to do this effectively is to use a "yes set".

The idea is to pace them, by making statements they can agree with. This usually gets people nodding.

Then the final statement - the new idea - is much more likely to get further nodding, rather than outright rejection.

This isn't about "getting your own way" or "pulling the wool over their eyes". Instead, it's about being genuinely open to hearing their arguments. All you're doing is presenting the information in a way they'll find easy to understand.

An elegant addition is if you pre-empt their potential objections and address them in theinitial statements.